Today I was putting gas into my car when I noticed a woman had pulled in behind me. She got out of her car then when she saw me get back into my car to wait for the gas to finish, she got back into her car and watched me. I was a little nervous because it was obvious that she was watching me! When my gas finished and I got out to put the pump away, she jumped out of her car and ran over to me. She had a sad story about how she left her ATM card at home and wondered if I would help her.
Let me just stop here and say that since we've lived here in Vegas, I don't know how many times this has happened! Almost every time we get gas, sometimes in the parking lot at the store, I even was approached while stopped at a stoplight by a man walking in between cars asking for money. These aren't just men or homeless people. It's all sorts of people. I've been approached by black, white, Hispanic, women with children, men, shabby looking, nicely dressed, old, young sometimes they'll even just send their kids over.
Now let's give some of them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps some of them really are in need.
But none of them come across that way! When I'm approached, I feel threatened, scared, offended, nervous, and anything but charitable. When I turn them down, I feel bad. Yes, we could afford to give a few dollars to them but ultimately how do I know if they are going to go buy the gas with it or go buy drugs or whatever?
And really let's be honest, most of them are just scamming. This just irks me to the core. Why do they think they are better than me enough that they don't have to work for a living? I don't understand how they think it's ok to lie to people for money.
I would support any business who wouldn't allow this kind of behavior especially a gas station. I put myself in this woman's situation. Let's say I go to the gas station and oops I forgot my debt card and my cell phone (and my car doesn't have enough gas to get me home pffft like that happens). I would probably go inside the store and ask to use the phone to call my husband. Since we only have one car, he would have to ask a friend or neighbor to take him to give me some money. But I wouldn't even think to ask a stranger for money, even a couple of dollars.
Just to finish the first story, I told the woman I didn't have any money and quickly left. It was true, I don't carry cash. After I left, I thought I could have done 3 things: told her the truth and left, gone into the store and got her some cash from my atm card, or offered for her to use my card while she pumped the gas into her car. But if I'd have done either of the ones I didn't, she could have killed me. I didn't know her. She could have stole my credit card or done any number of things I don't even want to think of. Yes, I felt threatened.
So my question is: how do you determine when to give and when to run the other way?
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2 comments:
I completely agree..I only give to organizations. They understand so much more than I do.
Man, that's a tough one. It never feels good to turn people away, but I wondered the same things you did while reading this.
Would I ever show up at a gas station without money with the hopes that someone would help me?
No. Way.
Other ways I've helped people have been to not give them money, but take them to a McDonald's (or some place with food) so that they could at least be fed. It is hard to do, too, because I'm thinking that I want to control how my money goes to them. It still makes me feel selfish, but that's just how it goes.
Hey, you helped me the other day with your comment, so just remember how much you helped my students. ;-)
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