Parenting Issues

Today a serious problem with the Babe came to a head. He is in this phase where he has decided he doesn't want to listen to anything I say. I thought this didn't start until he was a teenager. lol. But the best way to describe his attitude is that he is apathetic towards authority. Meaning, I, being the parent, make the rules and he doesn't want to follow them so he doesn't. I don't mean that I'm making unrealistic rules, I'm just trying to get him dressed in the morning and feed 3 meals a day. He talks back like he'll tell me no, I don't want to. I thought that reasoning through things would work but it hasn't. I thought perhaps I was being too strict. So I decided to consciously pick my battle and let him do things in his own time. For example, my girlfriend told me that she wouldn't make her kids get dressed until they were ready but if they missed activites then it was their lose. So I tried that and it completely backfired. He doesn't care if he gets dressed. No, he can't go outside but oh well. So I understand that I need to change my parenting approach....but how? What should I be doing that I'm not? I hate this parenting. It's always changing. Why couldn't it just stay the same for a few minutes?