Pain

I have this problem.

A few Saturdays ago, we went for a walk as a family. It was a beautiful day so the Little Lady was on the tricycle with the hubby pushing her while the Babe was in the stroller while I pushed him. We got a little carried away racing and there was a crash. The Little Lady's foot got stuck in the peddles of the tricycle and the hubby/Little Lady went crashing to the ground. There was some blood involved but I'll spare you the gory details. Now to my point. As soon as I saw that the hubby and the Little Lady were hurt, I felt sick. Like literally sick to my stomach. I felt pain that the ones I love were in pain. My heart hurt. Now that sounds very melodramatic but I really didn't understand this.

Then I took my kids to the doctor this week. They both had to get shots. The Babe is 4 now and has to be a big boy to show his little sister how easy it is. He sat there just shaking because it hurt so much and never cried. It hurt my heart so much! The Little Lady cried and wailed but that didn't hurt my heart as much as seeing my little boy just shake because he was hurting.

Then I went to dinner and was sitting waiting for the hubby to run an errand and I watched 2 teenage boys. They were playing this game with a quarter where you tried to keep it spinning on a table. Each took a turn and whoever knocked it off the table or made it stop spinning lost. When they lost, the winner took the quarter and flicked it into the knuckles of the loser....causing him pain. I could see the pain on one of the boys face. This made my heart hurt. But then I realized that these stupid boys were inflicting pain on themselves. I don't understand that.

But I do understand that teenagers are their own breed. And the Babe will someday make stupid choices and pain will result from them. Even though I told him not to. And this made my heart hurt.

I realize that the Little Lady is going to come home heartbroken over a boy. This will probably last all of 3 hours. But that will make my heart hurt.

I truly didn't understand that my mother felt pain in her heart when I was in pain. I guess this is all part of being a mother. I do not understand how mothers who have children who are very sick, or hurt badly in car accident deal with this heart pain I felt this week. They must be stronger mothers than I am. Or perhaps they have strength from God.

I'm the Cool Mom!!!!

Today the Babe wanted to go outside to play. I told him he had to stay in the backyard because the Little Lady wanted to go out. He said he wanted to play with (insert friend's name here.....we'll call him George). I told him he could run go get George but they had to come play in our backyard. So they came back a few minutes later but George wouldn't come in our backyard. I went out to see what the problem was and found that it was quite cold. So I grabbed the Little Lady to take her in and George said that his mom wouldn't let him leave their yard either. So I said ok, go play at his house no biggie. Well as George and the Babe were leaving, George says to the Babe, "Wow, you're mom's cool! A lot cooler than MY mom."

Yes! At last, I've achieved the ultimate goal of being the COOL mom. Too bad yesterday I was the worst mom in world when I wouldn't let him go out to play because he lied to me.

On Becoming a Mother

When Michael was born I thought he was dead. See, his heart rate dropped during labor and he was born with the cord around his neck, and when they put him on my stomach he was gray and didn't move. And for that split second, I thought he was dead. Now, looking back I realize that they would not have put him on my stomach if he was in fact dead, but I really honestly did not think he was alive. And I wouldn't touch him. The nurses must have thought I was the coldest person. And finally, the nurse took him away, cleaned him up, and he started to cry. And so did I.

And then, they handed him to me. And our eyes met. And the minute I saw him, I thought, of course, it was you, all along. And I couldn't believe how much he looked like his Dad.

Now for the confession. I cheated a little on this blog exchange post. It's stolen from my "Real Moms" post. I tried and tried to write something else, but I kept coming back to this, the moment I became a Mom.

And now, Mommy is my favorite word.

This post is part of The Blog Exchange. Jodi is mom to a 2 year old, a part-time lawyer, and wife. She blogs at Jodifur about all these things and many more. Please visit her site, and you will see Kendra's post!