I miss you!

Dear Blog,

I've missed you sooooooooo much! It's been so long I can't even remember what you look like. After taking a quick peak, girlfriend we've got to have a little makeover. eek. I missed our long discussions on parenting, our cute pictures posted of my kiddies and the banner change every month. I have to admit it, I just couldn't live without you. Apparently, some stranger named Matt missed you too.

The last time we talked, I showed a picture of stuff from my garden. Now the garden has long since been ripped out and it has snowed since. Another post I wrote just before we lost contact, the Little Lady was barely walking. Now, she's running and climbing. And talking!!!!

So today I come back to my old friend like children always flock to sugar. Like a dog always returns to his vomit. And I promise to be a better friend this time. I won't take month long breaks from visiting you anymore. I promise not to post ugly pictures of myself anymore. I promise not to write crazy things about racism. And most of all I promise to continue shopping at Target. So we meet again Buzz Lightyear. Ohh wait. Nevermind. Ok I promise to stop watching so much Toy Story. My children will go hungry again because I must write. My bathroom will again be dirty because I must blog. I hope you're happy.

Love your dearest old friend,
The writer of this blog.

Fatness

Last night the hubby, the Babe and I were jumping on trampoline. It's fun to go out there and play with the kids. The Babe loves to put a ball on it and try not to get hit by it rolling around and try not to let it fall off. So I got on and was jumping with the hubby when one of the springs flew off! They are held on by a strip or tramp material around a triangle where the spring connects. The material ripped clean off.

At about the same moment, our backdoor neighbor came out. The Babe just had to announce that daddy had broken his spring on the trampoline. The neighbor said oh how'd that happen. The Babe then told him it was because daddy was too fat. That's when I crawled under the trampoline and died.

I promptly made the Hubby look at the tags attached to the trampoline to see if there was a recommended weight limit. He looked and it said something weird like only one person could be on at a time and they weren't allowed to breathe. So not 2 minutes later, the Babe was "reading" the "instructions" as he calls them. His instructions went, "Daddy's aren't allowed to jump on the tramp because they are too fat and they'll break this thing right here. And then they'll fly off because he's too fat." I reassured the hubby that he's not fat.

Oh How I've Missed You, My Love

Dear Long Lost Friend,

I have missed you so. The way your children's clothes are just perfect with my style. I've missed those late night visits. Now that I live more than 5 miles away, I haven't been able to visit you and accure those large debit card charges. I miss roaming your isles and basking in your wonderful displays of clothes, electronics and beautiful home decor. I even miss your catchy red target symbol.

I came for a short visit this week and it was refreshing to wander through you wonderfulness. But, wait, something was wrong. It didn't seem like you were your old self because someone had mixed up all your insides. I looked for your isle of candles but found an isle full of food. Right smack in the middle in the most wrong place was your pharmacy. I still wandered through your children's clothing with the same rapture as before because it was the same.

I have visited you via the internet but it wasn't the same. I couldn't find that clearance rack with super good steals. I didn't even coming close to finding the perfect clock that I have been admiring for months now. So I wait.

I have hope that we will be together again soon. I heard a rumor that you will coming to a location within 5 miles from my new home. I was so excited I wanted to ready my debit card for my next visit. The longing will only be for a short time then we can be together again.

Love,
Your Faithful Target Shopper